Grief During the Holiday Season
The holiday season arrives loudly.
Lights go up. Music plays everywhere. Calendars fill. There is an unspoken expectation that this time of year should feel warm, joyful, nostalgic—full of togetherness and meaning.
For those who are grieving, the holidays can feel like emotional whiplash.
You may be missing someone who once anchored these days. You may be grieving a person, a relationship, a version of yourself, or a life that no longer exists. Traditions that once felt comforting may now feel hollow—or unbearable. Even the smallest moments can reopen loss: an empty chair, a familiar recipe, a song you weren’t ready to hear.
If the holidays feel heavy this year, you are not broken. You are grieving in a season that rarely makes space for it.
Why the Holidays Can Intensify Grief
Grief doesn’t pause for the calendar—but the holidays tend to magnify it.
This time of year is filled with memory, ritual, and repetition. When someone is gone, their absence becomes more visible against the backdrop of tradition. You may find yourself grieving not only the person you lost, but the future moments you imagined sharing with them.
There is also pressure—spoken or not—to “be okay” for the sake of others. To show up. To participate. To smile through it.
Grief resists this kind of performance.
You Are Allowed to Do the Holidays Differently
One of the quiet cruelties of grief is the belief that you must do things the same way as before—or that changing traditions means letting go of love.
It doesn’t.
You are allowed to:
Skip gatherings that feel too painful
Leave early without explanation
Simplify or abandon traditions entirely
Create new rituals that honor your reality
Say “this year is different” and let that be enough
Doing the holidays differently is not a failure. It is an act of care.
Simple Ways to Honor Grief During the Holidays
You do not need to “make meaning” out of your grief. You do not need to transform it into gratitude or hope. But you can acknowledge it—gently and on your own terms.
Light a candle in remembrance.
Not to make things brighter, but to mark love that still exists.
Name who is missing.
Silence can be isolating. Saying their name—aloud or in your heart—can be grounding.
Build in exits.
Give yourself permission to step away, cancel plans, or take breaks when the weight becomes too much.
Let grief coexist with moments of ease.
If you laugh, rest, or feel okay for a moment, it doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten or moved on.
When Grief Shows Up Unexpectedly
Grief during the holidays is rarely linear.
It may arrive in waves—triggered by smells, music, decorations, or old photos. You might feel fine one moment and undone the next.
Nothing is wrong with you.
Grief is not a problem to solve. It is a response to love and loss colliding in a season that remembers too much.
A Note for Those Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving
If someone you love is grieving this season, your presence matters more than your words.
You don’t need to fix it.
You don’t need to offer silver linings.
You don’t need to insist on cheer.
Ask what they need.
Respect their boundaries.
Let them talk—or not talk—about who they’ve lost.
Being willing to sit with discomfort is a profound gift.
Closing: There Is No “Right Way” to Grieve the Holidays
Some years you may participate.
Some years you may withdraw.
Some years you may feel both grief and warmth in the same breath.
All of it is allowed.
If the holidays feel heavy, know this: you are not alone, even if it feels that way. Your grief belongs here, too.
At Deathcraft, we honor the truth that love does not end—and neither does grief. Both deserve space, especially in seasons that try to rush us past them.
